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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27179276">Dictionary: Human - Decepticon / Decepticon - Human</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mydarksidelovesthis/pseuds/mydarksidelovesthis'>mydarksidelovesthis</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Transformers - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Culture, Decepticons - Freeform, Dictionary, Language, world-building</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 02:42:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,472</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27179276</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mydarksidelovesthis/pseuds/mydarksidelovesthis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a dictionary that helps you better understand Decepticons. It contains expressions uttered in your human language, but still Decepticons might have an unusual way to express things. Contains also how you as a human can get your point across to a Decepticon.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tl;dr it boils down to:<br/>- humans are underdeveloped creatures<br/>- Decepticons hide any weaknesses and you should do that, too<br/>- if you don't like it go pet an Autobot instead</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Introduction</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            A translation of

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27179183">Wörterbuch: Mensch - Decepticon / Decepticon - Mensch</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/mydarksidelovesthis/pseuds/mydarksidelovesthis">mydarksidelovesthis</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Dear Reader,</p>
<p>this happens if you spend too much time in Decepticon minds. Sigh.</p>
<p>I was playing around with the idea of how Decepticons express themselves. That they are not actually rude and evil, but they have a passive-aggressive way of putting things, because of their background.</p>
<p>Now, after reading this, if you watch the first Bay movie where Megatron threats to kill Sam but doesn't actually do it, it makes so much more sense!</p>
<p>Kind regards,<br/>My Speechless Side Loves This.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h5>
  <div class="center">$e'eldra §adr"kh°r*</div>
</h5>
<h1>The Decepticon - Human - Dictionary</h1>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>My Dark Side Loves This (Editor)</p>
</div>This dictionary was written by me, $e'eldra §adr"kh°r*, alias "Mother of the Decepticons". The name may not sound trustworthy and I admit that my time on Cybertron has changed my attitude towards some things. Nevertheless, I would like to point out that for once I have created this dictionary to the best of my conscience. It is not my intention to lie, at least not on these pages, but mistakes can happen. A hint from these pages could save your life, but I don't know you, so I don't care. Believe what you want.<p>You're human, from a Decepticon's perspective an underdeveloped, inferior creature. The crimes that humans have committed against Lord Megatron and thus the Decepticons (deprivation of liberty, bodily injury, mental theft, etc.) have further strained the relationship between our species. Always remember this when you dare to speak to a Decepticon or when he does you the honor of addressing you.</p>
<p>The Decepticons are a proud warrior race from the planet Cybertron. Their homeworld's civil war, which lasted millions of years, brutalized them and robbed them of their compassion. Their manners may seem harsh and stern to us, but behind this façade are sensitive beings who can rely on their strength in an emergency.</p>
<p>What is commonly called the Decepticon dialect is their way of expressing themselves in specific situations. I hope that with this dictionary I can contribute to understanding between our peoples. Or at least make you humans realize that you are not as important and sophisticated as you think.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Human - Decepticon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Request help</h3><p>Asking for help is considered a weakness. Either you have authority, and you give them an order: "Bring me the shard." Or, since you are human and have no authority, give a clear hint and show that you are trying hard: "If I had circular saws like yours, I would simply saw through this staff, but I have to remove it manually."<br/>Afterwards you thank him with: "I could have done that by myself."<br/>Alternatively, if you're obviously helpless, communicate your need to a Con who has an interest in your survival: "I need food or I'm gonna die."<br/>Or out of sheer spite, let him do you a favor: "I'd ask you to fly me over there, but I don't want to owe you anything." For his own amusement, show some anger at the fact that he helped you. He may react with "you already owe me everything" and remind you that you have to work for him in exchange for your life.<br/>If he helps you on his own, it is a humiliation. He is saying that he does not trust you to do the job alone.</p><h3>Offering Help</h3><p>Just like asking for help, accepting it is considered a weakness, so don't do it if you don't intend to offend the Con. Instead, give a subtle hint of what you can do and let him command you to do it: "I can fix this." Don't expect a thank you, because that would mean he had accepted help and is also considered a weakness. A Decepticon expresses gratitude by letting you live, ignoring you for a while instead of insulting you - maybe he'll even start calling you "human" instead of "worm" - or something similar, at most with a slight nod of the head when doing outstanding work. You are expected to make yourself useful as a loyal subject and to obey your orders.</p><h3>Scolding a Decepticon</h3><p>Don't. Your little human concerns are meaningless, so don't bother a Con after he has trampled your flowers. He doesn't even have a garden to plant flowers in and his home is uninhabitable, so don't rub your luxury in his faceplate. You're lucky he didn't trample you. If there's a Decepticon mission critical to the damage, communicate your need as described in "asking for help" and let the Con find a solution: "You crashed my car, now I can't take this artifact to Megatron."</p><h3>Lying</h3><p>Although "Decepticon" sounds as if deceptions and lies are common among them, truth is actually very important. Remember that they live in war and take measures that harm their enemies - everything is allowed in war. This does not mean that they are appropriate for a human being.<br/>If you lie, let it be to hide your human weaknesses. If you spit blood after a punishment, but say that you are fine, it is a sign of strength and deserves respect, at least a little bit. Remember that your little human problems are insignificant to the cause of the Decepticons, who have much bigger problems to deal with. It may seem like a lie to you, but it's actually the truth. Be glad you're alive. If "I'm fine" seems too far-fetched to you, use "I can handle it" as an alternative.<br/>Under no circumstances should you lie to withhold vital information from the Decepticons. They're machines with access to massive amounts of data and they will spot your lie quickly. Any betrayal of the Decepticon cause is punishable by death. Attempts to escape the punishment, such as defection to the Autobots, will only delay the punishment.</p><h3>Insulting</h3><p>You should not go around insulting Cons indiscriminately, but if they do something you do not like, you can express your displeasure in response. "You destroyed my house, you stupid tin can" - that's understandable. Still, I want you to know that you should be careful with this.<br/>In general, you can express insults that are so absurd that they are recognized as insults that can be attributed to your lack of understanding as an underdeveloped life form. Call the Decepticons stupid, bugged, or glitched if you think they don't understand something. You're the one who doesn't understand the meaning behind their actions. Call Starscream ugly - he puts a lot of effort into his appearance, you just don't see it. Call Megatron weak. Maybe he is - compared to Unicron or something - but he's working on it. He's used to people underestimating him. No way you should overdo it and call them "dirty, ugly alien creatures" for no reason. No matter what reputation you've worked hard for before, such a statement will be punished with immediate elimination. Also beware of negative remarks about protoforms or Cybertron. Protoforms are cute and innocent. Even if you can't see that, you don't have the right to insult defenseless babies. Cybertron is a fascinating planet - calling it ugly reminds them why it looks like this - war - and makes them forget the manners they've gotten used to so they still have human slaves left to do the work for them.</p><h3>Love &amp; Dating</h3><p>No idea what you expect from this section, probably the title made you curious? Bad luck. Cybertronians reproduce asexually. If you're looking for a platonic partner, you'll be more successful with the Autobots. However, in both factions, it might be hard to find someone who will go for an underdeveloped creature like you with its short lifespan. It's not worth it for them.<br/>What, you're still reading? Well, there's something. If you find a Decepticon who doesn't constantly insult you, who remembers your name without any ulterior motives and inquires about your condition. Maybe you have earned this treatment through outstanding work, if not, then it's about time. Do your tasks better than he demands.<br/>Most Decepticons share certain preferences: Soundwave's music, alternatively hard, clattering music from Earth, to which armies can be easily disassembled, if you understand what I mean. Pieces of metal with a (for them) perceptible amount of destructium. - no idea how you want to determine that as a human being, I'm just saying it. And they love movies and series in which people kill each other. Probably it's nice for them to see that it's not just their species that does it, or maybe they get some inspiration. They hate science fiction. Humans are underdeveloped, unimaginative creatures and our science fiction works are completely unrealistic for Cybertronians. Imagine aliens who have no idea about humans would make a movie about us. The result would be either embarrassing, upsetting or confusing, which we would at most watch to make fun of the stupid aliens. That's pretty much what Cybertronians are doing with our science fiction.<br/>Don't worry. If these clues aren't enough to win his Spark for you, chances are he'll at least adopt you as his pet.<br/>I should also mention that there is a kind of shortcut to partnering with a Con. Which is to convince Megatron that you would make a good team. Whether the way would be easier for you remains to be seen. In any case, it's evil without the consent of the Cons, so don't do it, only I do.</p><h3>Begging</h3><p>Don't do it, it's a sign of weakness and also annoying. You are appealing to the goodness in his heart - do you see the problem? Instead, ask him what he wants and cooperate when he makes you an offer. If he seriously intends to kill you, nothing can stop him, especially not your whining. Rather, you encourage him to put an abrupt end to this unbearable noise.<br/>If he is causing you pain and you want to ask him to stop, say, "Is that all you've got?"</p><h3>Convincing</h3><p>Do you think there is a magic button or a magic sentence and a Con does what you want? No, there's no guarantee for a positive outcome. Whining is pointless, it's just annoying. He doesn't take threats from you seriously. Just state your request neutrally, preferably with a reason that suits him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Decepticon - Human</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Greeting</h3><p>The Decepticon does not greet you. He doesn't introduce himself but expects you to know him, after all there aren't that many of them and most of them have earned a reputation. If he tells you his name, it is a reprimand for failing to acquire this information yourself, maybe you even addressed him with a false name. Shame on you.<br/>
You don't need to tell him your name, he doesn't care anyway. Normally you are simply called "human", or if you are dislike very much, "worm". If many people are present, he may feel the need to address you more specifically with "boy" or "girl". With your short life expectancy it is not worth remembering your name. If he remembers your name, then he has a personal interest in you and you should hurry to find out what it is. For example, he has your name on his death list or he spies on you to find out your weak points.</p>
<h3>Insults</h3><p>If a Decepticon calls you stupid, underdeveloped or weak, that is not an insult, but from their point of view a fact. He's probably criticizing your work right now. Since you are a stupid, underdeveloped and weak creature, he had no high expectations of you anyway. Somehow you managed to undercut those low expectations, congratulations. Try harder.</p>
<h3>Threat of Murder</h3><p>"I'll kill you!" Can he also say by gestures, e.g. by hitting the ground next to you with full force or shooting in front of your feet - that was a miss by intention. Calm down. If he wanted to, he would just kill you. You made him angry. Apologize and do what he says.</p>
<h3>"Nobody kills you but me."</h3><p>The meaning is to be interpreted depending on the context. Under four optics: "I love you." When you leave: "Take care of yourself." When you go somewhere together: "I'll protect you."<br/>
He reserves the exclusive right to end your life and he's willing to fight for that right. That doesn't mean he'll ever do it, except out of mercy if you ask him to, or to save you from something worse. That's about the nicest thing a Decepticon can say and still sound threatening.</p>
<h3>"How stupid are you?"</h3><p>That means: "You're damn right. It took you a long time to realize that."<br/>
You just spoke a flash of genius that you've been working on for a long time, but for a machine intelligence, it was something very obvious. The statement expresses a mixture of annoyance at having to deal with an underdeveloped life form like you and at the same time a positive surprise that you came to this conclusion despite your low mental abilities.</p>
<h3>"Don't make such a fuss"</h3><p>Or even formulated as: "Don't be such a priss." "Pull yourself together."<br/>
It means: "You're stronger than you think. I believe in you."<br/>
Decepticons aren't the "you're gonna be OK, you're gonna be fine" types. They're more like, "Pull yourself together and stop whining."<br/>
You are experiencing, or have experienced, something very unpleasant, because I doubt you can read while it's happening. Maybe he's teaching you a lesson, either as punishment or as a test, and you've started to whine. Did you read the part where I wrote that complaining is considered a weakness? Shut up and stand through it. Or challenge him to give you more to earn some bonus respect points.</p>
<h3>"... or I'll wipe out your (entire) species."</h3><p>Meaning: "This is (very) important to me."<br/>
That's Megatron's favorite phrase. I don't know what you've done, but you'd better obey. Megatron would do it for a lot less, especially since my behavior has caused him to seriously consider it.</p>
<h3>"I'll kill you later."</h3><p>Means: "Thank you."<br/>
There are several billion people in the world. You are unimportant and interchangeable. To be spared by a Decepticon who doesn't know you or barely knows you is a great honor.</p>
<h3>Scolding</h3><p>Scolding is a sign of affection. If he really cared about your faults, he'd just kill you. By ranting, he gives you a chance to mend your ways. Only when you make a mistake and he doesn't scold you, but looks at you as if he is aiming at you in his mind, should you worry.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Human - Autobot</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Communication with Autobots</h3>
<p>If it happens that you have to talk to Autobots. You should be careful what you say if you don't want to be seen as a traitor in front of the Decepticons - it's best to avoid talking to Autobots.<br/>Otherwise it's much easier to communicate with this faction, so there's no need for a detailed explanation. Autobots are well-disposed towards humans and are eager to see good in their words, so you can speak relatively freely, but refrain from expressing sympathy for Decepticons and negative remarks about Autobots. Their friendliness also knows limits.<br/>Autobots are very empathetic. If you say something to them that upsets them, or they refuse a request, just cry to them. A sad creature is unbearable to them, and they will do their best to comply with your request to end this pitiful state. "I'm sorry, I was so afraid the Decepticons were gonna kill me" excuses everything you've done.</p>
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